HELP: LIFE FEELS REALLY OVERWHELMING

I used to feel quite embarrassed about the amount of times I have felt completely overwhelmed, stressed and anxious about things that were happing in my life.

I never like to admit the just how many times I have cried in the shower, stressed out of my mind, feeling so out of control about my own damn life. 

I used to think that to have your shit together, you needed to feel in control all the time - have everything sorted, know where you are heading and just feel great 24/7.

With everything that I have personally been through in the past few years, I’ve come to the realisation that the idea of perfection and ‘having your shit together’ is really just bullshit. And even the people that you think ‘have it all figured out,’ - well, they really don’t ALL the time!

Hi, I’m Sam and I am a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist, just doing my best over here. Nice to meet you! 👋

As someone who says yes to everyone and puts her own desires way down too far on the priority list, I know first hand just how overwhelming life can feel, because I literally do it to myself on a regular basis. 

It’s a vicious cycle - you finally get some free time, or a quiet spell in the calendar of events, and all of a sudden you’ve said yes to helping other people out, taking on more work, more events, and like clockwork, more and more of you is needed for everyone else and you have no time left for your damn self.

If you’re sick of the cycle, and feeling overwhelmed, here are some things I’ve been doing lately to combat it:

1. CHANGE YOUR MIND. It’s okay if you’ve said yes to something, and you don’t have the energy for it anymore. The people who love you want to spend time with you when you’re feeling great, they don’t want to feel like you “have” to do something with them. Be upfront and honest about it. I know how hard this is, but the people who love you will understand that just because you don’t want to do something anymore, doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for them. And if they don’t… that’s actually something they need to work through, because they aren’t respecting your boundaries and needs.

2. BLOCK OUT TIME IN YOUR CALENDAR FOR YOU. Just like a dentist appointment or helping your friend move - it’s in your diary so that you won’t forget, you’ll show up on time in the place you’re meant to be. We need to start doing this for ourselves. In fact, I already have and this is a GAME CHANGER. When someone asks if you can do something, you can say no - because you have something else scheduled in. It helps you stick to your own boundaries and you’re so much more likely to do it!

3. PLAN, PLAN, PLAN: If your to-do list is piling up at an exponential rate, you need to realise what’s important and what can wait. You can’t do it all, right this very second. Prioritise what is a must do, and what can wait. Shameless plug: check out our H&B notepad which will change your life for the better and help you organise your day (and life) - check it out here.

4. ASK FOR HELP: Adding on to the above, life wasn’t meant to go through it alone. Personally, I’ve been through some really hard times losing both my parents and feeling like I don’t have anyone to lean on… But there are always people out there that are willing to help and sometimes all you need to do is just ask. Delegate little tasks to your partner, friends, family, colleagues. Talk to them about how you’re feeling and tell them you’re very stressed and overwhelmed. Disclaimer: please don’t yell at your people and scream in a moment of frustration, try to calm/settle yourself before asking for help to get the best result possible.

5. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS: It’s okay that you’re overwhelmed. It’s your body, mind and soul telling you that somethings not right. And that’s okay. It’s the first step in acknowledging that things are hard, and that you need help with a game plan to change it up. Have your cry, have your moment, feel sorry for yourself or get angry for a hot minute - LET IT ALL OUT. You’ll feel ten times lighter for actually letting yourself feel it, and then you can move forward - whether with big leaps and bounds, or baby steps.

Just a reminder that you are the main character in your own life - you are in the drivers seat and you do have control, even if your current circumstances don’t really feel like that.

You can take small steps, every single day to get back in control. It doesn’t always happen immediately, and it may take time, but you will feel so much better for implementing boundaries that allow you to feel less overwhelmed and stressed - because well, you deserve to live a life that’s filled with a whole lotta peace and joy.

You got this.

H&B x