Missing someone these holidays?
YEP, WE ARE TOO.
When you think about Christmas and the festive season, what comes to mind? 🎅🎄
You probably think presents, social events, Christmas parties and markets, time off from work, shopping til you drop, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and over-eating the entire month of December.
If probed a bit harder about what you love most about this time of year, we can all probably agree that we love spending time with those we care about the most and showering them in gifts, love, time and attention.
Even if you have to spend Christmas with your unruly, overbearing family, there are other things you just can’t wait for - like opening Christmas presents with your partner and kids, or spending the day drinking with your cousin who really is the only sane one left in your family.
But what does Christmas and the festive season feel like, when you’re missing someone? When the person or people you want to celebrate with, aren’t there?
Well, if you’ve never experienced it for yourself before… it’s hard.
It’s not just Christmas Day that’s the *tough* one… it’s a lot of little things leading up to the big day too. Everywhere you go from late November and throughout December, you’re reminded that it’s a time to be with those that you love the most. Everyone you know has a calendar that’s jam packed with events and end of year catch ups - and when you’re missing someone in your life, it serves as a constant reminder that they aren’t there.
It could be a family member, a partner, your kids, a pet, or maybe even your entire family who live in another state or country. And everywhere you go, you feel that little pang of heart break in your chest that they aren’t with you… when you really want them the most.
There’s all the holiday movies highlighting the importance of family and love, the constant barrage of things to do, places to go and people to see - all around a very vulnerable time of year that can become, well, quite overwhelming.
Not only that, I’m sure you’ve heard your friends complain about their family and how frustrating they can be, and you’re left thinking to yourself, “I would do anything just to have them there with me.”
It’s tough.
And we’re sorry to say, there is no quick fix to remove the loneliness and longing.
But we can definitely relate, because we’ve been there too.
Here are some of our top tips on how you or someone you love can best get through missing someone this festive season🎄✨
IF YOU’RE MISSING SOMEONE ✨💛
- Don’t force yourself to do something that you really don’t want to do.
- Don’t feel bad for not wanting to stay at events. You are allowed to leave when you feel like it. Be proud of yourself just for showing up, especially when you’re feeling like this.
- Talk to your friends about how you’re feeling. Talk to them about what triggers you, how you’re coping and what’s going through your head. The more they know, the more they can be there for you in whatever way you need.
- Don’t burn the candle at both ends and run yourself into the ground in an attempt to stay busy. We know this is really common to do, but all it will do is delay you dealing with how you’re feeling and you’ll probably end up run down and sick for your holidays. And nobody wants that.
- If you’re feeling lonely, or know that you will be lonely come Christmas Eve/Day — make plans! Ask your friends if you can come to their Christmas lunch or dinner. Invite your friends around for a movie night on Christmas Eve, catch up with your family for Boxing Day, go see that movie you wanted to see at an outdoor cinema and invite your cousins. You will be surprised how willing people are to spend time with you when you just ask.
- If you don't want to or can't spend time with family friends, try plannings things that you can do that you can really enjoy and fill your cup.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings. Talk to friends, a professional, journal your little heart out. Have a cry, get angry… let it out. It’s normal to miss them and it’s normal to be emotional about it!
IF YOUR FRIEND IS MISSING SOMEONE THEY LOVE ✨💜
- Don’t assume they’re okay. Just because they haven’t said anything to you, or maybe “it’s been a while now, I’m sure they’re over it…” never assume. Check in with them! Let them know you’re thinking of them.
- If you notice your friend is keeping themselves so busy and running themselves into the ground… say something. Or maybe suggest a catch up that’s more relaxing, even send them a feel-good gift box for them to indulge in a little self care. You could even drop a subtle hint like getting them a massage voucher for Christmas.
- Acknowledge what they’re going through. You may not know exactly how they’re feeling, but put yourself in their shoes. Sometimes just acknowledging that things are tough for them right now and that it sucks, is all that’s needed.
- Ask them if they would like a buddy to attend events together! Perhaps they’ve just broken up with a partner and are dreading going to all the Christmas parties with all their friends who are coupled up… Go together. It will make it so much more fun and enjoyable and won’t have them constantly feeling lonely and sad.
- Invite your friends to your events! Even if they already have plans, ask if they’d like to come over before/after. Don’t be offended if they say no, but they may jump at the chance to have plenty of plans and to spend time with you.
We hope these tips give you some ideas on how best to prepare yourself for the holiday blues that may creep in at some point. We’d just like you to know that even if you have amazing friends and family around you, helping you navigate a hard time of year… it’s still okay to feel bit sad and lonely.
Love,
Honest & Bold
PS. If you, or someone you know is struggling with loneliness and grief, we’d recommend calling LifeLine for a chat on 13 11 14 .