What the f*** happened to my perfect life?!
We've all been there.
If you’re going through a time in your life where you’re feeling a bit lost, or like you have no clue what the hell you’re doing… all I can say is, I FEEL you.
Right now, I’m at this stage of my life where my life is ✨nothing✨ is quite what I expected it to be.
If you told younger me that I would quit my successful real estate career, to start my own gift boxing business whilst working part time and battling chronic fatigue… I probably would have straight up laughed in your face.
If you had of mentioned that I would be single, borderline broke and helping my dad through a Stage 3 lung cancer diagnosis (only two years after my mum died), I probably would have had a panic attack, because #fuckthatforajoke
On paper, it looks like my life is falling apart - but in reality, I’m fine. In fact, better than fine, I’m thriving. Sure, I’ve got hard things happening in my life, but I am doing A-OK… because I understand this is just a phase in my life.
As we’re growing up, turning into young adults, everyone around you paints this beautiful picture of what your life will look like — you’ll graduate school, get a good job, meet a partner, have kids and then live happily ever after.
What they fail to mention is that you WILL go through tough times. Things won’t go your way. You will have sad things happen to you and you will have periods of your life where you don’t feel like you have it all together.
Enter Honest & Bold.
The whole point of creating H&B was to be open and honest about life experiences and feelings, so that you know you aren’t alone… and that we can all get through hard times, even if you have no idea how or where to start.
So often we hear the phrase ‘happiness = reality - expectations’
We build up this completely fantastical reality in our head of what our life will look like, usually based on those surrounding us and what we consider “ideal.” And so, when our life doesn’t quite match that expectation, we can fall into feeling deeply lost and confused.
“What the hell am I doing wrong?” Is a question I’ve asked myself on a regular basis. But, my dear sweet friend, the answer is “nothing.”
That’s the funny thing about life.
These life events that we dread so much… like breaking up with the love of our life, getting fired, losing friends, loved ones passing away or even just not getting what we truly desire —are not the be all and end all. They are just a moment in our life, sometimes even a lesson to be learnt, but they do not define us.
Whilst in the moment they certainly and absolutely can feel like the end of the world as we know it, they simply aren’t.
So the next time you’re in the middle of a crisis, feeling like your world is crumbling down around you… try to remember this:
1. Yes, this feels horrible right now. You’re allowed to feel sad, angry, disappointed… whatever it is, you’re fully entitled to feel this way.
2. It is not always going to feel like this. I can’t tell you when exactly it’s going to get better… but it will in time.
3. Try talking to someone you trust (or a professional) to work your way through this. You can also try journalling when you’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
4. When you get stuck in the mindset of “that was mine and now it’s gone” or “that was meant to be me” or even “Why can’t I have that?” … Remember that what is meant for you will not pass you. As much as it sucks letting go of someone or something that we REALLY want… if it was meant for us, it would simply be. I personally also happen think it’s the universe’s sneaky way of making room for some really good things to come. (But trust me when I say I understand that it may not feel like it right now).
5. Just because you don’t have what you want in your life right now, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean it’s NEVER going to happen. It’s just not what’s currently happening. It is time to let go of what you thought your life was supposed to look like, and embrace/surrender to what it really is.
It can be a big thing to get your head around, but it’s really important to start focusing on what you DO have. This is where those pesky little gratitude journals come in handy. Start putting all your energy into focusing on the people you love spending time with and the things you love doing. This will help distract you from your crisis and boost your self love during a really difficult time.
6. Go easy on yourself. Stop criticising yourself for what’s now in the past. Sure, some self reflection is key to moving forward in life… but there is absolutely no need to keep kicking yourself while you’re down.
If you need a little love bomb to brighten your day, or just a few cocktails and a good playlist... head to our Shop.
Love,
Honest & Bold x